$10,000 in the bank and a bun in the oven

So I've been thinking more about this idea of mine to have a child in the next few years. I don't have a fellow in my life. Not really dating. But I figure, when did that ever stop anyone? Right? Anyway, I have a number of beliefs, conditions that must be satisfied before I even really consider having a child.

1. 10,000 in the bank and a steady income. I'm not even close to this, so trust that there will be no little ones running around any time soon. Unfortunately, my instant gratification bug is still working overtime, though I do have the credit card under control now. I do have this burgeoning taste for the finer things, one of them being a desire for an occasional housekeeper and maybe down the line a nanny while I'm at work. Needless to say, I'd need more than 10 grand for all that.

2. A place big enough for the child to have its own room, own space to grow. I have a 2 bedroom apartment at this point, but the second room is my guest bedroom/office and it's a little cold in the winter. Not the best for an infant, right? But I could change that.

3. A support network. I just moved to a new place, and though I've been quite satisfied with my welcoming and adjustment here, I don't think that necessarily would mean that I could call up my friends and say, "I know we were planning on going to a concert, but do you mind meeting me at home? I can't seem to find a shirt without spit-up, and I don't think the dog is a good babysitter anyway. Perhaps in a few years, though?

4. A partner. It's funny that a fellow in my life is kind of lower on the list, though this is not a list written in order. I would love to have that nuclear family that I grew up with, with all its faults and joys, but at the same time, I have every expectation that when it comes to raising a child, even if dude is there and supportive and wonderful, that most likely I'll be doing most of the work. Now, is this fair? No. Are my expectations way too low? Probably. Do I believe that by even thinking this way I will attract this reality? Yes, actually. But in the end, am I willing to wait until my late 30s or 40s for that perfect, iconic man to come whistling down the road to say, sure, I want to be with you for ever, I've got all the qualities you want, and surprise of surprises, I can change diapers in 2 minutes flat or less? No. I'm not. So, if I don't start seeing someone soon - I truly believe that people should be together for 3-5 years before they even consider having a child if they are trying for that nuclear family thing - I'm going to have to start thinking about alternative options, most likely involving legal papers and signing away parental rights, but I could adopt, too. I kind of dig that idea.
A couple years back I was in Costa Rica and there was a young woman, a waitress at a restaurant I attended. She was about 17 years old and already had 2 children and was pregnant again. She was going to have the child but wanted to find someone to adopt the baby. She wanted to still have a relationship; she just couldn't support the baby, her other children and herself. I never asked what was going on with the father. She was a really sweet person, and I wished then that I could have helped her and her little one in some way. So, maybe an open adoption. I'm not sure about that yet.

5. Stability. I doubt that I'll ever be the sort to stay in a place for more than 4 or 5 years. It's not my nature. I spent 18 years in the same location, most in the same house. Same doctors, same schools, same friends. I lived in the same neighborhood as my relatives. As soon as I became an adult, I finally had the space to fly, and I haven't really looked back. I used to think about going back to Philadelphia, starting a school. I think I'd still like to do that, but I can't imagine myself living in one place for long. I'd rather start a series of schools, move from place to place, and have a home in all of them, even if that's not literally the truth.
But I do have a stable job these days, one I can imagine growing with over many years. I have a plan for getting out of financial debt caused by student loans (and it doesn't involve just going to school until I die, although I considered that :). I'm pretty good at routines and all that jazz. I'm also sublimely happy. I haven't surrounded myself in drama and all that. That's also not in my nature. At least, I can say that I can offer a child the emotional stability that a parent should have to really guide his or her development. CHECK!

6. A will and life insurance. Got both. They need to be updated, but everything is pretty well-divided. I'm thinking about getting a lawyer to have an updated will made next year. CHECK!

7. The belief that I can nurture a human life with the dignity that I believe is essential. The belief that offering myself in this way would be a true blessing, an extended moment of union with the sacred, a profound act of change in the world, a dedicated practice of selflessness. The belief that I can rise above myself to be better for the good of someone else. This I have. Now to meet the other conditions before 40 when I'll start thinking about retirement and afternoon naps (I'm already doing both) more than college educations and 3 am feedings. CHECK!

I'm thinking that 29 is the year when I start looking at all my options. By 32, I'm hoping to have my first child.

This April I turn 28. How did the years creep up so fast?